Maskism

So my intravenous NPR feed instructed me today, via excessive intonations of comfort-words like "moms" and "kids", that being cold does not lead to getting a cold.

Moms have no good reason anymore to wrestle their kids into big, bulletproof wool balls. Evidently all this bundling up in down simply satisfies the natural parental urge to protect, and meets cultural expectations for appropriate parental behavior. (As NPR noted, an apparently inadequately swaddled child will automatically prompt nearby "seasoned" ladies to admonish the responsible parent.)

Here's the irony, which NPR completely missed: what does work to slow the spread of viruses is skipping work/class when you're ill, and, if you must attend, then wearing a surgical mask. Yet American culture abhors both practices in the extreme. Calvinism rather neatly explains why employers and coworkers resent any sick days you might take.

But what could possibly explain the horror at surgical masks? After all, Asians wear them all the time.

A "friend" provides a perfect example of just how extreme the unacknowledged anti-surgical mask feeling is. This "friend" is currently pursuing a masters degree in public health. The academic requirements involve small classes sitting facing each other around tables in ideal cough and sneeze range. Due to their low frequency, these sessions really can't be skipped even if a student is terribly ill and contagious. Amusingly, the subject of these classes is inevitably how to improve public health and minimize its expense with preventive techniques.

Here's a suggestion, WHY NOT HAVE YOUR STUDENTS WEAR SURGICAL MASKS WHEN THEY HAVE HORRIBLE RESPIRATORY VIRUSES?!? Half the students are doctors, for God's sake! If this group won't wear them, no one in this country ever will. (Except, maybe, in the event of Bird Flu, or confirmation of the recent study suggesting obesity may be virally spread.)

A few possible explanations for this situation:

1. Vanity. This can perhaps be fixed if Nike and Adidas start marketing expensive masks with prominent logos.


2. Coolness, a sub-category of vanity. What's more nerdy than wearing a shapeless, celibacy-inducing down coat in the winter-time? A surgical mask reminiscent of a Japanese salaryman, obviously.

3. Fear of death. Americans don't like intimations of mortality, or even intimations of cold and flu season, in their midst.

4. Cussedness. After all, I've already got the cold. The virus spreading to you is filed under "your problem". America is all about flinty independence. If you're worried about catching my cold then maybe you need to GET OFF MY PROPERTY!

What's the word for a culture which values pointless, silly aesthetics over health and comfort?